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Category: Character
Do you often find yourself saying "yes"
to something you later regret?
Two things often cause this regret: Thinking only with reason, or thinking only with
emotion. That is, you may answer "yes" to something you do not feel like doing or dread to do just because you think answering
"yes" is more appropriate than answering "no." Or, answering "yes" could be the result of responding only with your feelings,
rather than thinking about the logical implications that are also involved.
For example, if a friend wants you to join
them for dinner at an expensive restaurant that you cannot afford, you may answer "yes" because you are afraid that it will
hurt your friend's feelings if you say "no." Or, you may answer "yes" because your excitement about dining in a posh restaurant
overshadows your reason. In both cases "yes" seems like the right answer, but in reality, "no thank you" is the better answer.
Work
to balance your emotion with your reason.
While we have always been taught to think in terms of right and wrong, we
must also take into account how we really feel and what we want to do. You may be ignoring your emotions if you feel out of
touch when others around you are more emotional, like at a wedding shower or closely played baseball game.
Meanwhile,
acting strictly from your emotions may be detrimental to your well-being, too. If you respond to a confrontational meeting
at work with a storm of tears or by punching the wall, your reason is blocked by your emotion.
Before responding to
situations or with answers, first check both your reason and your emotion:
1. What do you think is the right answer?
2.
How do you really feel?
Are the two balanced, or opposites?
Combining reason and emotion in order to create
harmony takes time and practice. Give yourself time by pausing before you respond. Take a deep breath and ask for a moment
(or longer, if appropriate) to think about the question before you respond.
In addition, focus on how you react in
different situations. Identify when you reacted only with emotion and when you reacted only with reason. Reconsider your responses
each time to see if a better answer would have been given if you had balanced reason and emotion.
Balancing reason
and emotion helps you create positive outcomes.
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